On one of their episodes Gayish Podcast talked about Zac Brown Band and played a clip of their song Chicken Fried and it struck a chord in me. So I had to listen to more, and the bastards do something to me. The song Chicken Fried (along with many of their songs) makes me wistful and teary but happy too. I grew up in a small city surrounded by farming and ranching communities. I have country roots, having spent summers and holidays on my family’s farm/ranch. While I’ve grown away from the mostly conservative political and religious beliefs prevalent among the rural folks I grew up around, there’s something cozy and comforting about small tight communities and a low maintenance sensibility that is attractive to me. I want that. I want a community where I can just be simple, introspective me, with a good partner on my arm that has all my love and gives me all theirs. I want a place where we can get together with friends and home cooking, music, and laughter and just be ourselves. But as much as I like the IDEA of country life, I love cities and want to be in one surrounded by the diversity. I want the diverse people, activities, food, shopping, museums etc that can really only be found in cites-even smaller ones.
And as usual, I resist the traditionally woman’s more domestic role in country living. I’m attracted to cowboys. But I want to be one too, with work-earned muscled forearms and calloused hands wearing a comfy pair of jeans and tee-shirts. I don’t want to be a cowgirl, or a farm wife. And I don’t want the intolerance that can too often come with the country lifestyle. So, not only am I nostalgic for a lifestyle I don’t quite fit into, I also long for being a male in that lifestyle.
So Zac Brown Band makes me feel connected to a part of me but dis-connected because I can’t live that way.